give me $3K and a eurail pass and i'll show you a good time

in the non-prostitute sense.

the things i have learned

As I said before, I am in charge of Marie's farewell, Beer and Oysters on the beach. As I said before, I am not fond of either of these items. But luckily, Pierre is going to manfully step up on the seafood end and order the oysters and assume responsibility when the bill comes to something ridiculous and Earnesto chokes on his redbull when he has to sign the invoice. Way to go Pierre. I deeply appreciate you for this.

Still, this leaves the beer to me, not a beer aficionado. I was told it needed to be a keg. I have definitely never gotten a keg. Unless you are talking about a keg of hot chocolate for cold carolers, that I have done more than once, along with the stocking of one Pink Pam Manner's Silver Samovar with wedding punch. That's just how I roll. But kegs, no, not in my line.

But apparently in my line of duty. I now have to find the most recent male college graduate and find out how one goes about this. Maybe I'll charm someone into taking this one over. If not, I will be sure to add it to my skill set on my resumé: Able to Procure Kegs on appropriate occasions.

Maybe one day I will show you a brief glance at my resumé. It has become something of a joke.

this cupcake's for you

So, near my place of work is a fine establishment, a purveyor of cupcakes. I love these cupcakes. Brilliant and tasty. Today, in celebration of my quitting, me and Camille went to lunch and then to the cupcake store. I had a sweet chocolate cupcake, and I would like to say, this cupcake is for everyone who has ever been in a work situation that is untenable. It represents the sweet and rich creamy goodness of giving that crappy job the proverbial finger as you leave to do anything but that. Including being unemployed.

So, when I announced I was quitting, Earnesto said that I was too ambitious for this job. Since when is asking for some feedback ambitious? Not accepting mediocrity is not ambition, it is sanity.

As I once said to my #2 favorite Dave, this cupcake's for you, all those who know they are for better things than the dust they have shaken from their feet.

what a blessed relief

That would be basketball, the NBA that started last night with the Spurs receiving their rings and ended with them comfortably defeating the constantly improving Blazers. Well, actually, it ended with the Utah Jazz trouncing the Warriors in a manner cruelly reminiscent of the playoff series last year. In the middle was the Rockets barely squeaking by the Lakers, which is not to say that this is a Kobe sandwich, because if that was the case, I don't think anyone would partake.

Like many other people who decided, or had fate decide for them, that Basketball was their sport of choice, I feel like I have long wandered in the wasteland of Baseball (which cannot even hold a candle to TSE's The Wasteland, and is much more in line with being caught in a storm in the Gobi - a feeling of perpetually impending doom). I have read countless blogs yesterday and today breathing the collective sigh of relief that at long last, October 30th has dawned and we will not have to suffer again until Late June (or the All-Star Break, depending on how much of a purist you are). And to add my voice to this chorus, I will set down my observations for last night's games.

Game 1: Spurs v. Blazers, in San Antonio
This season started as I feel every season should: with the Spurs getting their rings, celebrating, and unveiling the banner that looks (gasp! Spoiler alert!) just like the ones hanging right next to it. I was thrilled to see that Chip Engelland got a ring, because I think his work with the players was instrumental in the success. Also, who didn't love to see how geeked the first time players were, despite attempts to act degagé.

Trivia Time: Which time in the NBA has the longest winning streak of season opening games? Let's not be silly, we know it is the Spurs, with 11 years of victory. For a team that everyone knows is a grower (start slow, and builds into 58 wins of Awesomeness), they know they have to put the right foot forward.

That isn't to say that it was a sure thing, hands-down win. Portland, rapidly improving into a soon-to-be contender, put up a stiff fight, and LaMarcus Aldridge has some skills on him. That team really has a lot of the future greatness for the NBA amongst its ranks. They kept good intensity and pressured the Spurs all the way to the end. I think (I write at work, not in front of my tivo) that they got it to 4 point spread before the Spurs stopped playing and actually got down to business in the last few minutes.

And to you nay-sayers (I don't want to hear about Phoenix, people, not today), it was not a boring game. It had plenty of up-and-down and running, and good passes and "dunks." Well, Portland had dunks that don't have to be in quotes, but San Antonio is not the place to find DUNKS. It's kind of a more than a layup, less than a jam.

It was good to see Darius Washington get out there and make some mistakes along with some good moves. he looks like he has some potential, and I'm pretty excited that it was him out there, and not the recently departed Beno Udrih. (Side note: Last season my sister and I went to the games when the Spurs came to play the Warriors. One thing we noticed is that when it was the time out with the Warrior Girls, there were two players that were not listening to Pops, but were slack-jawed watching the ladies like they had never seen a cheerleader/dancer before, Udrih and James White. Both are now gone. coincidence? I don't think so. Listen to Pops, he has got 4 rings for a reason)

NEXT: Rockets v. Lakers, in L.A.
I was excited for this game because I had heard big talk about the Rockets, and I wanted to see what they had. What will Rick Adelman do with the talent he has under his tutelage? Because he's a pretty good coach himself. Plus, I wanted to see what the Spurs had given away in Luis Scola (Probably a good player, but definitely a member of the All Not-Good-Hair team). I was not excited for this game because it included the Lakers, who right now have some of my all-time not favorite players (Kobe, Luke Walton). plus, the people of Los Angeles feel a sense of bizarre entitlement - every call and every game should be going their way because they payed ridiculous money for those seats and merchandise. That's what you get for liking a large-market team, a storied franchise You are paying for goods that were delivered 5 years ago. I hope you like the taste of history. MMM, delicious, and past-due.

The game showed me this: the Rockets have potential, but that Angel food cake hasn't set entirely yet. Give it some time, and it will not collapse under its own weight, like the Rockets sort of did in the last 1:30. (The middle of the game was a little lost in a local earthquake, when we had to first figure out if there really was an earthquake, and second, I had to field calls to make sure I and the caller were still alive) Well, thank goodness for Shane Battier, who I have heard is a hated player, but who doesn't like a Blue Devil? And, Kobe, missing 9 free throws. Again, I sort-of quote my roommate when I say, he really f$#%@ his own s$#& up with all this controversy. And Rafer Alston redeemed himself by knocking away the last rebound.

Game 3: Warriors v Jazz, in Oakland.
Curiously, the game I didn't watch was the local one, but this is what I have to say. That box score is sick. My condolences, fellow bay area people. That's no way to start a season. But it's one game. Better luck next time.

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

Things have been a little strange around here lately. I have fleetingly been experiencing something that the astute reader might realize is highly unlikely, job satisfaction. So unprecedented is this state that it has momentarily and profoundly shaken my patterns of usual behaviour. But more on that Later, let's just examine why it is so marvelous that I might actually want to go to work this week.

Why it is Crazy

a) I have actually been working on Project Negative Value. It isn't something that usually brings me great levels of joy on a usual basis. Actually, usually discussion of this project makes me want to Sylvia Plath myself (stick my head in the oven, not read The Bell Jar). It still sort of does. But this time I was doing work that I secretly hope will help derail the futility.

b) I have had to go to MEETINGS OF DOOM where there was lots of yelling and pointed questions and when we weren't meeting, we were prepping materials for the next meeting, which would commence as soon as the latest edit was done.

c) I had no time to do a Pirate quiz or virtual yahtzee. Having to work at work usually sucks.

Why I enjoyed it

a) I was able to do analysis. Marie is probably going to catch it from letting me take a break from my regular scheduling duties (from which I was already on enforced hiatus because there are only so many hours you can schedule). But she asked me to do what I have been university trained to do: analyze. And it involved research. My toes are curling at the very thought.

b) I was treated as an expert. I was all of the sudden a trusted source of information, someone who had answers, or if I didn't have them right then, I could get them. My initiatives were treated as insight the would have otherwise been unable to obtain. It doesn't matter that I am not an expert and anyone with half a brain and internet access could have collected the same information, and anyone with a working knowledge of, and a working calculator could have done it.

c) I was praised. Relying on someone and thanking them are two different things entirely, which is something I do not think that Earnesto has yet learned.

d) A little more indicative of my character flaws, I really enjoyed being part of something that throws a spanner into Earnesto's pie-in-the-sky dreaming. As my roommate has frequently said, I really f@#$% his s#$% up.

More on this later

I was concerted, I swear it

Well, sometimes work just acts like the wort sort of bully, and it is times like those I remember something I once saw on one of the Blackboards of my high school calculus class. It went something like this:

Math is what we do, but we do not do it well, that is why we DANCE!

I take no credit for this. It was a notice for some sort of dance club that I was far too geeky to participate in. But the line stuck with me, and this was my philosophy today at work (substitute work for math). So when Earnesto left the office unexpectedly for the second time today, throwing his schedule into absolute shambles, I turned on the tunes and indulged in a little chair dancing. You know, when you groove around without actually moving the chair.

I think I was inspired by the exhibition opening/ concert I went to on Wednesday. It was a dreadful combination of rich snobby people sneering at my dress, and then indie rock kids sneering at my dress, but at least it had a rocking soundtrack. Why all the sneering? Perhaps it is because my outfit was a tiny bit prom-night-revisited, not chic enough for SFMOMA, but too dressy for the Independent and the Okkervil River crowd.

My dear friend was kind enough to bring me less painful shoes, meaning I checked my 4-inch black patent leather heels. Admittedly, the skirt, knee-length, benefitted from the tall shoes, but my comfort level did not. So I went to the coat check area, and turned over my shoes (my stockings were filled-in-fishnet, but irretrievably laddered, so I took them off and binned them in the bathroom). Following is the exchange between me and the Coat Check Men:

Me: I'd like to check these shoes.
Them: You have to wear shoes.
Me: I am wearing shoes, just different shoes.
Them: But you would look better in these shoes.
Me: I've already been wearing them for 4 hours, and my feet hurt, so I'll wear these other ones, thanks.
Them: That will be 2 dollars.
Me (paying them): Thank you.

Oh the crazy coat checking fashion police!

It was a great show. I really enjoyed it. I was concerted by the whole experience.


very similar to my shoes

A Bunch of Whiners?

I was reading through comments posted on a prominent sports website when I was shocked to see that people considered the Spurs, my dear boys, whiners. As in accredited Whinery Vintage 1999 complete with Cheese and Grapes. What are these people seeing that I am not? Have I become blinded to the truth? Has my inexplicable dating preference for obnoxiously complainy types been transferred to my choice of Basketball Team? Was that how they wooed me away from the hometown team?

I think not, because I grew up in Portland, and a sorrier bunch of whiny, excuse-making petty-class criminals you would never find. And sadly, that also very closely matches some of my earliest dating habits. No, surely if this was the reason, I would still be supporting the Trailblazers, who have the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" fan relationship down pat.

Plus, the David Robinson, my second favorite Spur of all time, was hardly a whiner. You just don't learn that at the Naval Academy.

This does not preclude the possibility that the current crop of player could be whiny brats. So I thought, here in the season of the Technical Crackdown (not as roll-y-off-the-tongue as Year of the Boar, but the title none the less), there would be proof of the claims. I checked the stats. In the top 50 for the regular season of Technicals, Rasheed Wallace tops the list, almost as a matter of rote. He does have a reputation to uphold. Second is Amare Stoudemire, with a total of 15. Tied for 9th is Dirk Nowitski, with 12. The Only Spur in the Top 50, Tim Duncan, comes in tied for 15th with 9, I have Have to argue that 1 of those, if not 2, came in the highly dubious Joey Crawford incident in the end of the season.

In fact, of the teams still in the Playoffs, the Technical Crown can be awarded to Detroit Pistons, with 4 players, Wallace, Richard Hamilton, Antonio McDyess, and Chauncey Billups all in the top 50. Next up is Phoenix with 3: Bell, Stoudemire, and Nash. Please note, this is strictly a quantitative analysis of the number of players on the team who are in the list. It is not even per team who has the most. I can't calculate that and still look like I am working. New Jersey, Utah, and Golden State all have 2 players on the list, Chicago, Cleveland, and San Antonio only 1.

I know this doesn't tell you why the Technicals were called, or the relative validity and severity of the call. But, IF we were to take it as a quick peek into relative whine levels, well then, the Spurs aren't doing to badly now.

Another thing I can't do at work is watch each game to measure whine. But, I call on my voluminous memory, and recall that the Spurs do speak with the referees quite a bit. Is all communication with Refs whining? No. It could be lobbying, discussion, clarification, a joke, a compliment on hair, a review of the latest hot album to drop.

I propose that the Spurs are masterful lobbyists. On par with the D.C. Tobacco Lobby. They get the earnest look of serious consideration and furrow their brows and use well articulated hand-gestures. They balance claiming fouls with contesting them. When Manu flops (I adore him, but he does flop), and doesn't get the call, he gets up. And the on-court behavior matches the off-court. You don't find them shooting off at the mouth between games. It may have won them a couple of games, but it sure didn't win all of them.

This may be a skill set that others around the league don't admire. Probably because they don't have it. But it is a skill. So suck it up. Don't embarrass yourself by whining about it. They would be just too much.