what a blessed relief

That would be basketball, the NBA that started last night with the Spurs receiving their rings and ended with them comfortably defeating the constantly improving Blazers. Well, actually, it ended with the Utah Jazz trouncing the Warriors in a manner cruelly reminiscent of the playoff series last year. In the middle was the Rockets barely squeaking by the Lakers, which is not to say that this is a Kobe sandwich, because if that was the case, I don't think anyone would partake.

Like many other people who decided, or had fate decide for them, that Basketball was their sport of choice, I feel like I have long wandered in the wasteland of Baseball (which cannot even hold a candle to TSE's The Wasteland, and is much more in line with being caught in a storm in the Gobi - a feeling of perpetually impending doom). I have read countless blogs yesterday and today breathing the collective sigh of relief that at long last, October 30th has dawned and we will not have to suffer again until Late June (or the All-Star Break, depending on how much of a purist you are). And to add my voice to this chorus, I will set down my observations for last night's games.

Game 1: Spurs v. Blazers, in San Antonio
This season started as I feel every season should: with the Spurs getting their rings, celebrating, and unveiling the banner that looks (gasp! Spoiler alert!) just like the ones hanging right next to it. I was thrilled to see that Chip Engelland got a ring, because I think his work with the players was instrumental in the success. Also, who didn't love to see how geeked the first time players were, despite attempts to act degagé.

Trivia Time: Which time in the NBA has the longest winning streak of season opening games? Let's not be silly, we know it is the Spurs, with 11 years of victory. For a team that everyone knows is a grower (start slow, and builds into 58 wins of Awesomeness), they know they have to put the right foot forward.

That isn't to say that it was a sure thing, hands-down win. Portland, rapidly improving into a soon-to-be contender, put up a stiff fight, and LaMarcus Aldridge has some skills on him. That team really has a lot of the future greatness for the NBA amongst its ranks. They kept good intensity and pressured the Spurs all the way to the end. I think (I write at work, not in front of my tivo) that they got it to 4 point spread before the Spurs stopped playing and actually got down to business in the last few minutes.

And to you nay-sayers (I don't want to hear about Phoenix, people, not today), it was not a boring game. It had plenty of up-and-down and running, and good passes and "dunks." Well, Portland had dunks that don't have to be in quotes, but San Antonio is not the place to find DUNKS. It's kind of a more than a layup, less than a jam.

It was good to see Darius Washington get out there and make some mistakes along with some good moves. he looks like he has some potential, and I'm pretty excited that it was him out there, and not the recently departed Beno Udrih. (Side note: Last season my sister and I went to the games when the Spurs came to play the Warriors. One thing we noticed is that when it was the time out with the Warrior Girls, there were two players that were not listening to Pops, but were slack-jawed watching the ladies like they had never seen a cheerleader/dancer before, Udrih and James White. Both are now gone. coincidence? I don't think so. Listen to Pops, he has got 4 rings for a reason)

NEXT: Rockets v. Lakers, in L.A.
I was excited for this game because I had heard big talk about the Rockets, and I wanted to see what they had. What will Rick Adelman do with the talent he has under his tutelage? Because he's a pretty good coach himself. Plus, I wanted to see what the Spurs had given away in Luis Scola (Probably a good player, but definitely a member of the All Not-Good-Hair team). I was not excited for this game because it included the Lakers, who right now have some of my all-time not favorite players (Kobe, Luke Walton). plus, the people of Los Angeles feel a sense of bizarre entitlement - every call and every game should be going their way because they payed ridiculous money for those seats and merchandise. That's what you get for liking a large-market team, a storied franchise You are paying for goods that were delivered 5 years ago. I hope you like the taste of history. MMM, delicious, and past-due.

The game showed me this: the Rockets have potential, but that Angel food cake hasn't set entirely yet. Give it some time, and it will not collapse under its own weight, like the Rockets sort of did in the last 1:30. (The middle of the game was a little lost in a local earthquake, when we had to first figure out if there really was an earthquake, and second, I had to field calls to make sure I and the caller were still alive) Well, thank goodness for Shane Battier, who I have heard is a hated player, but who doesn't like a Blue Devil? And, Kobe, missing 9 free throws. Again, I sort-of quote my roommate when I say, he really f$#%@ his own s$#& up with all this controversy. And Rafer Alston redeemed himself by knocking away the last rebound.

Game 3: Warriors v Jazz, in Oakland.
Curiously, the game I didn't watch was the local one, but this is what I have to say. That box score is sick. My condolences, fellow bay area people. That's no way to start a season. But it's one game. Better luck next time.

Job Opening?

The news from Rangoon indicates that there may be a opportunity for advancement in my long-term career plan to head up an international crime syndicate. It's about time I was making my move.

A Very Special Episode

I grew up without a TV.

?? you may say, did you also live in a cave?

Why, no, I did not. I lived in a lovely house in the suburbs of Portland and I had no TV, so consequently, I never knew the joys of the "very special episode" until I grew older and had an early morning health class whose curriculum seemed to consist only of these. Like the 90210 when Brenda thought she was pregnant. Or the 7th Heaven where, oh wait, all 7th Heaven episodes are very special. There were also a lot of made for TV movies. Lifetime should sue for royalties.

But not to be irreverent, today feels like I have been trapped in one of these.

I admit, what has happened here is tragic. I don't feel like I can share this sort of details about the lives of others, but it is tragic. Still, I have the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in a cliché. In a world of infinite possibilities, it is odd how often things fall into a predictable pattern. Maybe it's like I heard at one meeting, humans have no idea how to generate a truly random sequence of events.

Twilight Zone Revisited

So, I lack the time and energy to do as I promised, which is explain the bizarre side effects of job satisfaction. Most likely because it has gone and who knows when it shall return. But the good news is my work will be presented to a select few of the board tonight, and caused Earnesto to have to amend his outrageous optimism. and I have a lot of unnecessary knowledge about the Carnegie Museums of Pittsburgh.

But to all those who required it of me last week, I will no longer be taking the role of the optimist in conversations.

The intervening moments of life

I know I promised to continue my previous post, but I have neglected in my brief moment of laborial satisfaction to post a few things. First, congrats Camille, for getting that new position at the institution. True, I'll miss you like crazy since you won't be in the cell/cubicle next to me anymore. What will life be without those ridiculous calls between two people less than 15 feet apart? Also, who will I exchange catty gossip with about senior staff (besides Marie, or Bonnie, or Adelaide or a handful of other people such a the head of HR)? But props to you for escaping this cellblock and building. I only wish you were a) not located next to the desk of that media guy who loathes me and b) seated a little closer to the girl with the Scharfenberger chocolate. I take comfort in the fact that it all might change really soon, since they are undergoing the joys of curling for beginners in that building.

Secondly, I would like to say I have reclaimed my brother from the brink of banality. Just as far back as July, he was saying Travis was his favorite band. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Travis, but really, if they are your favorite band you probably are going to eat banana cream pudding for your crazy-go-wild dessert and finish out the evening watching My Best Friend's Wedding. Not a horrible fate, but he is a 21-year-old boy, he should like something really far-out (in either the direction of vile taste (ie. Linkin Park) or towards something surprisingly good (in the realm of My Morning Jacket)). It's like what I think Oliver Wendell Holmes said about politics, there is plenty of time to play it safe when you get older. Anyway, brother dearest has since backed down from his dangerously boring position.

Third, Earnesto will be gone for 3 of the next 4 weeks. Say no more.

Fourth, and most importantly, NBA season starts on Tuesday, opening with the Boys playing Portland. Guess who's leaving work early that day??

In support of the last fact, I link to this. No, I'll embed it. Enjoy!!

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

Things have been a little strange around here lately. I have fleetingly been experiencing something that the astute reader might realize is highly unlikely, job satisfaction. So unprecedented is this state that it has momentarily and profoundly shaken my patterns of usual behaviour. But more on that Later, let's just examine why it is so marvelous that I might actually want to go to work this week.

Why it is Crazy

a) I have actually been working on Project Negative Value. It isn't something that usually brings me great levels of joy on a usual basis. Actually, usually discussion of this project makes me want to Sylvia Plath myself (stick my head in the oven, not read The Bell Jar). It still sort of does. But this time I was doing work that I secretly hope will help derail the futility.

b) I have had to go to MEETINGS OF DOOM where there was lots of yelling and pointed questions and when we weren't meeting, we were prepping materials for the next meeting, which would commence as soon as the latest edit was done.

c) I had no time to do a Pirate quiz or virtual yahtzee. Having to work at work usually sucks.

Why I enjoyed it

a) I was able to do analysis. Marie is probably going to catch it from letting me take a break from my regular scheduling duties (from which I was already on enforced hiatus because there are only so many hours you can schedule). But she asked me to do what I have been university trained to do: analyze. And it involved research. My toes are curling at the very thought.

b) I was treated as an expert. I was all of the sudden a trusted source of information, someone who had answers, or if I didn't have them right then, I could get them. My initiatives were treated as insight the would have otherwise been unable to obtain. It doesn't matter that I am not an expert and anyone with half a brain and internet access could have collected the same information, and anyone with a working knowledge of, and a working calculator could have done it.

c) I was praised. Relying on someone and thanking them are two different things entirely, which is something I do not think that Earnesto has yet learned.

d) A little more indicative of my character flaws, I really enjoyed being part of something that throws a spanner into Earnesto's pie-in-the-sky dreaming. As my roommate has frequently said, I really f@#$% his s#$% up.

More on this later

Discretion is passé

I think that every workplace the size of the institution that I work for has to have a complete jerk who spends copious amounts of time doing nothing but drive everyone around them nuts. The one that stands out today (and most every other day) I will call John, after John McEnroe, because this is a person that thrills to argument. He thrives on conflict, he runs around fighting battles that really have very little to do with himself because he can, and no one has figured out a way to stop him, short of a nuclear explosion. He makes administration hellish.

Today he sent a email, political positioning that would only be tenuously supported because it was sent on the personal list serve. But of course he had to go so far as to make it a personal attack against someone that we do business with, a relationship that works very much more in our advantage. True, Businessman X has been known to ruffle many feathers on the SF scene, but you don't make a billion without breaking some people. Or whatever. But still, group emails on work accounts should not be a platform to launch attacks. Especially not such ridiculously short-sighted ones.

I mean, he enjoys a salary based in part on the revenue generated by Businessman X's association with us, so where does John get off trying to crucify him as a person?

So I forwarded it onto Marie, who hates John. We were once sitting in a meeting with some VIPs and John got up to speak. She leans over to me and says "someone should light John on fire." That's some pretty potent animosity for two people who have shared a workplace for 15+ years. Or maybe it's understandable. Either way, Marie LOST IT.

Admittedly, ever since the reorg her mouth issued some statements that have boggled my mind. This is the person who constantly lectured me on discretion in my position, constantly took time to correct me if she thought I was saying too much. When I said we should take it into her office, not the oh so public hallway, she asked why. She said, "I'm past the point where I have to consider discretion." So, I guess, is John.

What will probably happen is Earnesto will gently reprimand the both of them in a non-committal way, because no one sent him the memo/map that shows the point of discretion was passed by some months back. We shot meteorically past it, or so it would seem. Earnesto probably still quotes "discretion is the better part of valor." He's got himself some learning. But what he doesn't realize is that Falstaff, who said it, doesn't make it to the end of the series, and dies of some disease instead of in battle, and is also considered comic relief. I guess it all sort of transfers. Earnesto can be pretty hilarious with his bright-eyed opportunistic nature. And I wouldn't be surprised if he too ends up in ignominy.

So, today's lesson is, Shelve discretion. Stop biting your tongue and say give that blistering diatribe you have been perfecting in your mind through years of silence. And, as a corollary, start looking for a new job.

Another priceless gem from the vault

So, once again I was sorting through my past emails, and found a wonderful letter that you could either take seriously or as an elaborate joke, take your pick. I will have to cut bits for privacy, and maybe add in some notes to orient the reader, but please, enjoy this offering.

DRAFT OF IMPASSIONED LETTER TO ****** REX

Dearest ****** Rex -

I am not quite sure how to start this letter, there is just so much in my heart to say. I suppose I'll start with this, tucked away in my copy of Wassily Kandinsky's Concerning the Spiritual in Art lays carefully preserved that engagement happy note and ring that you sent to me on that fateful Wednesday that seems so long ago, but remains a constant memory. That may not mean much to you, considering the way I broke things off at dinner group and then became engaged to your roommate, but I implore you to read what I have to say to you.

I my defense, although there is no excuse for my rash actions and callous treatment of your heart, I was young, merely 22, and unprepared for the significant step of becoming betrothed. But as I approach the age of 23, I realize that I was a fool without all the important facts to inform my decisions. Truly, I was short-sighted.

For I hadn't realized that you were in graduate school for electrical engineering. That alone makes you highly attractive. Add in the fact that your middle name is REX and you are nearly irresistible. And furthermore, the absolute coup de gràce, you are both R's cousin, and D G's roommate. What more can I say?

You may have heard the tale of the man who once offered to fill the space in my heart. While he was seriously creepy and caused me to run home and hide in [another apartment] and not answer the phone for days, he was also right. There is a hole in my heart, and I was wondering if you could find it within yourself to forgive me, and try to fill that space. You may also be able to erase the black spot on my soul from the 2000 Sydney Summer Olympics.

I ask that you please disregard any and all information you may have heard recently about my commuter crush. While I do spend ridiculous amounts of time with him, he is just a paltry placeholder; he could never compare to you. The scales have fallen from my eyes, [feather boa blue] hair is now rust colored. His eyes may be the color of a kitchen table, but so are yours.

If you forgive me, and renew your offer of engagement, I promise that I will consider changing my last name to [yours], but not seriously and only for a short time.

What more can I say? I am not sure I have the words to articulate the things I could say.

Questions or comments? Please feel free to write or phone.

Adoringly and obsessed with your middle name,
E

It's been two years

No, today is not my birthday, but it is sometime in the neighborhood of now, and as I was sifting through my email inbox, I found a note from two years ago that brought me a lot of joy. May all your birthday's be as good as this one.

R-
Thanks so much for the stuff on my doorstep. I didn't have much time to look at it, but i am sure it is wonderful and very profound. and don't worry about breakfast: J made me lemon bars for breakfast last night. She didn't think that ice cream cake was an appropriate breakfast. By the way, if you want some ice cream cake, feel free to stop on by.
I have to go and dance around my office because, hey, it's my birthday. No Karaoke today, though. we can't have it all.
have a good day!
-E

That's right, at that time I had a job that allowed me to dance and do karaoke whenever I wanted, and a roommate who made me lemon bars. That was a good year. and I learned the secret of true love.

Welcome to Fleet Week

The Time has come once again, the time when unsuspecting souls walking along the bay in SF are suddenly subjected to the closest thing that they will get to (if they are lucky) living out that scene from Top Gun where Tom Cruise does a fly-by. That's right, it's Fleet Week. Oh!

I have only lived and worked in the area for 1.5-ish years, but let me tell you, Fleet week has fast become a noisome pest, rather than the thing of awe and wonder that some people seem to feel it is. I suppose in part that is due to the fact that every time the Blue Angels practice/perform, my entire building shakes like a truck just ran into it. A really large truck. Not entirely unlike when a earthquake hits. Deee-lightful.

I know that secretly, there are many people out there that are absolutely geeked at the thoughts of thousands of gallons of jet fuel being burned for you viewing pleasure. These are the same people that make model airplanes. nothing wrong with that. I don't make model airplanes and am not a five-year-old boy, so the thrill is gone. The honeymoon is over, the earplugs are in.

I have to say, I think Portland does this better with the Rose Festival and Greet the Fleet. San Francisco's sprawling ports lacks the central where it's at feeling. But who knows, maybe I'm missing something.